There are moments in our lives when the
people we love seem to “fail” us. Moments in which our trust is
“betrayed” by those we believed in, and moments when our friends and
family members can’t be there for us when we need them the most. When
that happens, we feel all alone, abandoned and disconnected from the
world around us.
Thinking that people can’t really be
trusted, and assuming that we can’t rely on anyone but ourselves,
consciously or unconsciously, we decide to stone our hearts. To
build walls instead of bridges. And we try very hard to numb ourselves
so that we can no longer feel any more pain. Failing to realize that
“The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the
joy.” ~ Jim Rohn
If you are looking to strengthen your faith in humanity,
rebuilt trust and believe in people again, here are a few things that
will help you do just that.
1. Your world is your consciousness objectified.
It’s a funny thing to see how when your
mind is at peace, and when your heart is filled with love, the people
around you, and life itself, behaves in kind and loving ways towards
you, mirroring back at you your internal state, and offering you the
experiences you deep down inside know you deserve. But when there is
darkness within you, and when your mind is intoxicated with all kind of
negative thoughts, thoughts about you not being enough, thoughts about
people not being trustworthy, and thoughts about this whole world not
being a safe and secure place to be in, the whole world starts to
transforms itself in front of your eyes, giving to you the experiences
you deep down inside expect, and feel worthy of receiving. Because that’s how much power your mind holds.
2. You are not a victim.
One of the worst things you can do to
yourself is to tell yourself that you are a victim, and that the whole
world is against you. The most horrible role a human being can play in
this life, is the role of a victim. You have no idea how much harm you
do to yourself when you tell yourself that you are a victim. No
matter what happens to you, and no matter how many people disappoint and
betray you throughout your life, never call yourself a victim. Never
put yourself in this position. And if you do, make sure you get out of
it as fast as possible. Because this is what kills our spirit, what
torments our Soul, and what deprives us of the clarity, the inner wisdom
and the right to take responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings,
and of our own lives.
“Life is not compassionate towards victims. The trick is
not to see yourself as one. It’s never too late! I know I’ve felt like
the victim in various situations in my life, but, it’s never too late
for me to realize that it’s my responsibility to stand on victorious
ground and know that whatever it is I’m experiencing or going through,
those are just the clouds rolling by while I stand here on the top of
this mountain! This mountain called Victory! The clouds will come and
the clouds will go, but the truth is that I’m high up here on this
mountaintop that reaches into the sky! I am a victor. I didn’t climb up
the mountain, I was born on top of it!” ~ C. JoyBell C.
3. Change your conception of yourself.
I’m sure many of you are familiar with
this expression: “We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as
we are.” The outside world is nothing but a projection of our internal
world. A projection of our own internal thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and
perceptions. And if we fall into the trap of thinking that we don’t
deserve to be loved, that people can’t be trusted, and that the world we
live in is a fearful and hostile place, than that’s exactly what we
will experience in the outside world. Since our world is nothing but our
consciousness objectified.
People, and the world in general, treat
you the way you think, and believe, you deserve to be treated. And in
order for your external circumstances to change, and in order for the
quality of your relationships, and the quality of your life to improve,
you need to make sure that you change your conception of yourself,
and your perception of the world. “Change your conception of yourself
and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not
try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are.
Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.” ~ Neville Goddard,
Your Faith is Your Fortune
4. Life Loves You, it really does.
I have learned many things from life, and
one of them is that the outside world is nothing but a reflection of
your inner world. If there is inner turmoil, expect to have outer turmoil
as well. If you have deeply hidden wounds, unresolved issues from your
past that are still in your energy system, and if there is darkness in
you that needs to be brought to the light, life will continue to send
your way all kind of people and experiences that will “force” you to
deal with your issues so that you can heal your wounds, make peace with
your past and move on with your life. That’s how much life loves you.
“So you must not be frightened if a sadness rises up
before you larger than any you have ever seen; if a restiveness, like
light and cloud shadows, passes over your hands and over all you do. You
must think that something is happening with you, that life has not
forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; it will not let you fall.
Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any miseries,
or any depressions? For after all, you do not know what work these
conditions are doing inside you.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a
Young Poet
5. It’s a world full of people, and we need one another.
Growing up, I have learned to be
self-reliant, to do things all by myself and to ask for little or no
help from anyone. I had to do it, I had no choice. But as time went by, I
realized that I can’t do everything on my own, and that I need people –
to help me, to love me, and to share the gift of life with me.
No matter how many times we get hurt, betrayed or
disappointed by our friends, family members, colleagues, and by people
in general, and no matter how many times we will fall down because of
how we perceive the behavior of those around us, it’s very important to
remind ourselves that we live in a world full of people, and that we
need one another. We can’t stone our hearts and pretend that we don’t
need people’s love, help, attention and affection, because we do. John
Donne, in No Man Is An Island – Meditation XVII, said it so beautifully:
“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the
continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a
manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were: any man’s death diminishes
me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know
for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee.”
6. Nobody is perfect.
I often say that we don’t get
disappointed by people, but by our own expectations. When you expect
people to behave in a certain way, to be there for you and tell you the
right things at the right time, you can’t help but set yourself for
“failure”, since people aren’t meant to be the way we want them to be,
but rather the way life intended them to.
“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.” ~ Unknown
This world we live in isn’t perfect.
People aren’t perfect. You yourself aren’t perfect. Nobody is perfect,
and that’s okay. We all make mistakes. We all behave in ways that others
might consider offensive and hurtful, but we have to remind ourselves
as often as possible, that just as we have our own darkness to deal
with, so does everybody else. Don’t take anything personally.
7. You must not lose faith in humanity.
Many years ago, Mahatma Gandhi shared
these powerful words, wanting us to understand that: “Humanity is like
an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not
become dirty.”
Humanity is like an ocean. And you cannot
give up on your faith and trust in humanity just because a few people
mistreated and disrespected you at one point in your life. You can’t go
around with this idea in your head that people can’t be trusted and that
you are all alone in this world. You must not lose faith in humanity. if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty…
8. Love the world as yourself.
Learn to love yourself with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
Love yourself as much as you want the world to love you, because only
by doing so, will be able to love the world with all your heart, with
all your soul, and with all your strength. Because remember, your world
is your consciousness objectified. And if love pours through every cell
of your body, than love will flow to you from all areas of life.
“What does it mean that hope is as hollow as fear? Hope
and fear are both phantoms that arise from thinking of the self. When we
don’t see the self as self, what do we have to fear? See the world as
your self. Have faith in the way things are. Love the world as your
self; then you can care for all things.” ~ Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
9. Thank life for the experience.
“I have learned silence from the
talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind;
yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.” ~ Khalil Gibran
Whenever things don’t go your way, and
whenever you feel that people act in ways that are hurting you, instead
of withdrawing yourself from life, and instead of allowing your mind to
trick you into thinking that people can’t be trusted, and that you can’t
rely on anyone but yourself in this cruel and hostile world, shift your
perception. Change your game. Go from being angry and resentful towards
all those who continue to “disappoint” you, to being thankful to life
for bringing out to the surface the things that are tormenting your
heart and Soul. Choose to express your gratitude for the love that life
has for you. Be grateful to life, and be grateful to all of your
teachers. And always look within to discover the root cause of all those
experiences. Because if you make the fountain pure, all will be pure.
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